I do not love you as if you were a salt rose, or topaz
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
So I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
By: Pablo Neruda
That romantic poem makes me to think why do we love someone?
Do we love someone because he is handsome, smart, brilliant, rich, funny, nice to be with, or because he loves us??? I don’t think those are the reasons. Before, I probably thought that I loved him because he was very nice, caring, attentive, nice to be with, because I felt comfortable being myself with him. But when my love has been denied (in every way possible) by him, whom I love dearly and whom, I’m sure, has loved me too, I still feel some kind of love … or affection (I’m not sure anymore) towards him. I still care about him, do not want him to get hurt. Am I just being dumb??? Maybe… Maybe not.
I really don’t know how to get rid of this love. I often ask myself why I still have this kind of feeling… I have no other answer that love that resides in my heart is beyond my control. There’s a verse in the Qur’an that says:
“And moreover, He has put affection between their hearts; not if you had spent all that is in the earth could you have produced that affection, but God has done it for He is Exalted in might, Wise.”
Thus it’s true; I love him without knowing how, or since when, or from where. I just love him. What I can do now is just to have this feelings while not letting it to hound me. Someday it will just fade away….