Have you loved? I am sure that everybody has experienced “love” in their life. I have loved.
Some time ago I fell out of love. The relationship I had didn’t work as he and I hoped it would. I have been getting through a lot of difficulties to deal with my own feelings (sadness, anger, disappointment, love, affection), with the new form of relationship (read: friendship) he and I have post the break-up. In that difficult time, I survive because I cling to the love of He who creates love.
All the things I’ve been getting through lead me to question about love…
What is love?
In Merriam-Webster online dictionary, love is defined as:
(1): strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties;
(2): attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by lovers;
(3): affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests;
(4): warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion
(5): unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another
There’s a verse in the Qur’an regarding love which says:
“And moreover, He has put affection between their hearts; not if you had spent all that is in the earth could you have produced that affection, but Allah has done it for He is Exalted in might, Wise.” (Al-Anfal 8:63)
From that verse in the Qur’an, I know that God himself is the one who creates love amongst people.
Thus I can resume that love is something created by God in the heart of human which then make them have attachment, devotion, admiration, and unselfish benevolent concern for the good of another.
This kind of love is mostly found between men and women, is most inspiring emotion written by poets and sung by singers of whole nation.
People who are in the beginning of experiencing romantic love say they fall in love. When their feeling is reciprocated they say they’re in love. Falling in love feels great. It gives you a great boost of positive energy. It makes you happy, see beauty of the world. When I fell in love I felt like my heart grew so big and so light that I thought I could fly. I used to say “ada letupan-letupan di hati.”
However romantic love has a negative side. In this period when all you see is beauty, you forget to see the downturn hidden in the corner. Relationship needs a lot of work, hard work I must say, from both side for it to go on. Those who think they will feel this feeling forever during a relationship must face disappointment. Falling in love is temporary, but loving may go on forever.
For a relationship to work, 2 intimacies are needed: physical intimacy & emotional intimacy. Physical intimacy is easier to work on, as long as the people involved do not have certain issues about physical closeness.
Emotional intimacy is built by getting to know the person for what he is (not as you want him to be or as he thinks what you want him to be), to share highs and lows of life, to always be there for you, to build trust, to be your friend, to know your strengths and weaknesses without wanting to take advantage of it. Emotional intimacy provides a strong bond between two persons, a great foundation for a relationship. The man and the woman respect each other, share time and other needs and desires.
I read an article that says:
“True love is selfless, it’s sacrifice for the other – it’s wanting the best for another. It’s a state where individual desires disappear and one’s life becomes a vehicle for service of the other. There is no more wanting for ourselves, only for others for the sake of God. Thus the adage, “If you love somebody, set them free….” That is true love and it is only love of God that can bring us that love. Love is, “I want whatever is best for this person, regardless of what I GET out of it!” And whatever is best for another includes their life in this world and the life to come.”
I can’t say much more than that to describe true love. True love is love you feel based on your love to God and is greater than a woman and a man constitute a couple. It includes family, relatives, friends and their surroundings.
I think it really is a romantic thing that a couple pray and do good deeds together for the sake of God as then it strengthens the bond existing between them. Loving for the sake of God means loving others regardless of their flaws. When you love for the sake of God, the rate of possessiveness diminishes as you know that God sustains your love and your life. And He knows the best for you.
Note: Picture is taken from website I forgot.